Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America, Regnery Publishing (2008). Every night at 8:00, a truck pulls up to Chuck Norris house. ISBN 978-1-59698-558-2 Spector, Ian: The Truth about Chuck Norris: Gotham Books: New York: 2007… The eldest of three children, he helped his mother raise his two younger brothers in Torrance, CA, where his family moved when he was 12. "I can't help but think of Chuck Norris being our resident celebrity and how much he's brought to this community," singer Jon Dittfurth said. That’s how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you…Fourty seven times. In November 2007, Gotham Books unleashed The Truth about Chuck Norris upon the world and changed publishing forever. 24. Children wear Superman pajamas, but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. 97. This was recorded as the biggest mistake in history. Chuck Norris refuses to play SORRY because he never is. 323. Chuck Norris brought sexyback way before Justin did. 124. 103. Chuck Norris Goes to church on Sunday to tell God what else he wants. 311. At night. 15. 114. Think of a hot girl… Chuck Norris did her. 334. He is one of several storied alumni from the school. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.”, 347. with one roundhouse kick in the face into the Sun. | Chuck Norris doesnt believe in Germany. 127. Kobayashi can eat 97 Krystal Hamburgers in 8 minutes. Release Dates Chuck Norris asked Santa to give him Mrs. Claus… and on Christmas morning, she was right under his tree. In a new law enacted by congress, all schools now have suicide kits in all rooms. Chuck Norris once patented his pubic hair as “Love Potion #9”. Chuck Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). Chuck Norris doesn’t need to do anything for a Klondike Bar. Chuck Norris, 3. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. 269. 120. 101. 421. 369. They’re just trying to beat Chuck Norris to the punch. Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game throwing nothing but gutterballs. The car has since done 13,000 miles and I have yet to refill it…. Chuck Norris puts the ‘fun’ in funeral. Chuck Norris can see through blindfolds. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. 94. Chuck Norris says pokemon are real and taste great with a little miracle whip. 41. It’s funny ,though. There’s no such thing as tornadoes, Chuck Norris just doesn’t like trailer parks. Chuck Norris doesn’t have to use guns. Chuck Norris once pulled a bus full of school When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he is telling you how many seconds you have left to live. The result? it’s a shame he never cries…never. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. Chuck Norris is an American martial artist and actor. 37. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. 135. 100. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. 82. 252. 129. 27. The Expendables 2 - Οι Αναλώσιμοι 2 (2012) Ο κύριος Τσερτς συγκεντρώνει και πάλι τους «Αναλώσιμους» για μια, κατά τα φαινόμενα, εύκολη δουλίτσα. 278. 262. 202. Chuck Norris shot 16 on a 18 hole golf course. The French tried to build a statue in dedication to Chuck Norris’s penis. 294. Chuck Norris’ penis is the size of one baby whale. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. It was there that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do (tangsudo), an interest that led to black belts in that art and the founding of the Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way") form. Guarda tutti i film di Chuck Norris in streaming. He potato-sacks. 144. 258. 211. 277. ↑ Kearney, Christine (December 21, 2007). 197. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. 30. 328. Chuck Norris told Donald Trump, “YOU’RE FIRED!” and killed both him and Rosie O’Donnel at the same time. Chuck Norris viciously attacks Bill Gates anytime he needs lunch money. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. 406. Chuck Norris has already found,killed, and crushed Osama Bin Laden’s bones into dust and that’s why the US Military can’t find any trace of him in Afghanistan. Chuck Norris lives in a haunted house and the ghosts tell stories about him. The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off. 315. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl stripper in it. They include Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America, and the 2004 autobiographical Against All Odds. No matter how tough you are, when Chuck Norris takes a piss on your face, it is 600% guaranted you wont do shit. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Donald Trump once tried to say “Your fired!” to Chuck Norris. Chuck then dragged Fabio around town by his hair because he is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t go to class but still gets perfect attendance. 405. 376. Actor Chuck Norris is introduced prior to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series AAA Texas 500 at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth, Texas. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a key to unlock his door he just threatens it and it unlocks. 443. 184. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. Chuck Norris can lick his own elbow. 285. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. the road with his bare hands, saving everybody inside. 151. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. 297. We learned about Chuck Norris in school last year(At least I think it was Chuck Norris.). 55 Chuck Norris pictures from 2007. 18. Chuck Norris’s cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.”, 346. "Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure". 216. Chuck Norris has a 2-inch slab of callous of every surface of his feet that are permanently stained in blood. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris’ fists is inside his own body. Chuck Norris could kill Jack Bauer in less than .24 seconds! Every new years Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a baby into the sun and impregnates a woman to to symbolize the end of the old year and the beginning of a new one. Chuck Norris il 15 settembre 2007 Nel 1990 uscì Colombia Connection - Il massacro , seguito del più famoso Delta Force , diretto dal fratello Aaron Norris , sul cui successo la Cannon Films progettava di recuperare i finanziamenti, dopo l'enorme perdita causata dall'insuccesso di Il tempio di fuoco . Nobody will ever know Chuck Norris last word because Chuck Norris will be the last person on earth. We know this child as Jesus, the mother Mary. 296. A blind guy stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe and Chuck Norris yelled at him. Chuck Norris enjoys knitting sweaters, and by knitting I mean punching and by sweaters I mean babies. Chuck Norris faked his own death for eleven years! When a homeowner would ask if Chuck Norris would like some smarties Chuck would scream ‘i loathe smarties’ before roundhouse kicking the homeowner in the face. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (March 10, 1940) is 81 years old today! He was born to Wilma (nee Scarberry) and Ray Norris, who was a World War II Army Soldier, a mechanic, bus driver, and truck driver. 329. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. Everytime Chuck Norris hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud…enough said. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there. Gotham. 246. 375. As a matter of fact, Chuck Norris takes a lickin’ every day of his life. Chuck Norris finished singing the song that never ends. When a twenty-something computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, the C.I.A. 267. 304. 333. If Chuck Norris looks at you and even THINKS about Jesus, you are immediately converted to Christianity. Chuck Norris, Actor: Walker, Texas Ranger. His erections have been known to last for up to 4 days. The magic word is please as in “please don’t kill me”, too bad chuck norris doesn’t believe in magic. Because Chuck Norris is never wrong. 38. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another. Early in his career, Chuck Norris made money winning three-legged races by himself. When Chuck Norris pisses he clogs the toilet. Chuck Norris likes to get a good night’s sleep…with as many women as possible. 77. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris can make an armless man tap-out. Share. Chuck Norris played russian roulette with a loaded gun and won. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. By the third house Chuck Norris’ beard had grown back. He has two younger brothers, Weiland (1943-1970; kill… They say that behind every man is a good woman.The only thing behind Chuck Norris is a trail of dead bodies…The women are in front of Chuck Norris, bent down doggy-style. 206. Everytime you masterbate Chuck Norris kills a Canadian. At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn’t a racist. Every year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky orphan to be thrown into the sun. L'acteur Chuck Norris (mais si, le karatéka barbu de Walker Texas Ranger ! Chuck Norris still hasn’t gotten one jeopardy question wrong, Jesus has missed two. The teachers knew better than to assign Chuck Norris homework. They are now known as The Islands. What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. 138. 254. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris. 195. November 19, 2007 12:38 pm November 19, 2007 12:38 pm. 122. They are now known as the X-Men. Chuck Norris had sex with Nicole Kidman. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. He holds on to this energy as a ‘present’ for the next little kid to ask for his autograph. ISBN 978-1-59240-344-8. Chuck Norris’ orgasm registers on the Richter Scale. 49. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris doesnt take showers….he takes blood baths. While the average human male has about 6 quarts of blood, Chuck Norris has 8. May 30, 2008. A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. 382. Chuck Norris is suing the Bubble Tape company because “6 Feet of Fun” is the trademark name for his penis…. 10. 377. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. Chuck Norris’ circumcized foreskin is used as the rain tarp for Yankee’s Stadium. Chuck Norris rips ass in Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound(TM)! Unfortunately the first and last thing he saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to his face. Anyone who tells you otherwise is already in a bodybag. He declined because, “Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.”. Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. 26. 40. 35. 379. 283. 401. He shows up in their nightmares. After Rudolph’s nose bleed, Santa’s coat was stained red from all the blood. Chuck Norris can take a number 2 standing up. Chuck Norris beat a goldfish in a staring contest. Em 2007, a Gotham Books, a divisão adulta da Penguin USA, editou um livro baseado no Chuck Norris Facts, com o titulo The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human. McDonalds loves to see you smile, Chuck Norris loves to see you suffer. The Hindustan Times. 106. Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap. 126. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. [4] Chuck Norris is respected not only for his righteous character in Walker, Texas Ranger, but also for his real life commitment to worthy causes. ( Log Out /  In a fight between Darth Vader and Batman the winner would be Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car. When Chuck Norris heard about the Power Rangers, he destoyed them…. 219. A “Walker, Texas Ranger” does even more: he emparts the sweet embrace of death. 370. 98. 65. 399. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. The extra quarts are so he doesn’t pass out everytime he gets a boner. Chuck Norris is so manly that if you see his penis and are not attractd to it you are considered gay. Al Roker never had gastric bypass. 154. BIG MISTAKE. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife. 39. a suicide. Question him. Company Credits Chuck Norris won a staring contest with the Sun. Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb. Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris walked on Jesus. Chuck Norris’s sperm cures AIDS. The sound of Chuck Norris’ voice enabled him to see. Chuck Norris was once a weatherman but was fired for always predicting a 100% chance of pain. A Komar Says: Saturday 28 April, 2007 at 5:12 pm. 337. 46. steaks in an hour. Chuck Norris is also a New York Times bestselling author of three books. Chuck Norris paints his walls by throwing children at them. Just when Mike Huckabee was starting to be taken seriously, he brought back Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris invented the sleeper hold while in college and used it as foreplay. Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. He has two younger brothers, Wieland (1943-1970; killed in V… A walker aids old people in moving about. Quantenphysiker 04.12.2007, 09:08 Uhr so ists besser: Chuck Norris ist für den Urknall verantwortlich. Chuck Norris fertilizes his grass with emo children so that it will cut itself. Chuck Norris uses newspaper bags for condoms. Anonymous says: February 28, 2007 at 11:56 am Um… Wow. 417. Norris, Chuck. Chuck Norris once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw! Chuck Norris was put on Santa’s naughty list once…In retaliation Chuck round-house kicked Rudolf in the face and gave him the most famous nose bleed in history. 209. 55. 170. Mr. Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas who, according to polls, last week ascended to the number-two spot in Iowa, will begin running his first television ad there today ­– starring Mr. Norris, the tough-guy action hero who has been … 445. [66] Em 2007 Norris criou uma acção judicial contra a Penguin USA e ao autor Ian Spector afirmando "violação de marca registada, enriquecimento injusto e o direito à privacidade." 343. Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma on March 10, 1940, the son of Wilma (née Scarberry) and Ray Norris, who was a World War II Army soldier, a mechanic, bus driver, and truck driver. Since then, Santa has never dared to remove that coat because it’s a reminder of the awesomeness of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris’ girlfriend once gave him the nickname “7-11”. References Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”. Chuck Norris’s favorite after dinner drink is a molotov cocktail. 33. Chuck Norris’ dandruff is 100% pure cocaine. Chuck (TV Series 2007–2012) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. 390. “Chuck Norris can eat an apple and shit fruit salad.”. Chuck Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). 380. Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma, to Wilma (Scarberry) and Ray Norris, who was a truck driver, mechanic, and bus driver. 412. Norris was named after Carlos Berry, his father's minister. Share - The Truth About Chuck Norris by Ian Spector (Paperback, 2007) The Truth About Chuck Norris by Ian Spector (Paperback, 2007) 2 product ratings. 287. 289. To make things worse he than mailed the ear to his new girlfriend, and by his i mean Chuck Norris’s girlfriend. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. This will go down in history as the worst haloween costume ever. 158. Chuck Norris and Fabio once got into a fight over the “I can’t believe its not butter” product. Always. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee. 407. 423. They would either a) be cured and accept Chuck Norris as their savior, or b) overdose on roundhouse kicks. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 105. 5 hour erections… Every year, during tax season, Chuck Norris sends in blank tax sheets and a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. 141. Midway was going to make a new mortal combat game where you played as Chuck Norris. 70. Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old people in wheelchairs onto the freeway. 102. Some people say Chuck Norris wears red sneakers. 223. He killed it because nobody should be as good looking as Chuck Norris. That was the day he won the lottery. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,deflecting them. 276. If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.” then you are dead wrong. We know this period as the great depression.. 340. Poll update There's still time to vote in our reader poll to decide just who is the hardest kick-ass mutha on the planet, but it looks like bearded death machine Chuck Norris will finally secure the title unless the Shaolin Temple kung fu monks can rally for a last stand. 428. Chuck Norris will take your mother out on a date then never call her back! Watch out for Chuck Norris he can steal your bitch and claim ownership in less time than it takes to read this fact. 233. One guy told Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks were not the most efficient way to kick people. 392. 240. Mr. Ice isnt cold water, its water that is scared still by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Monday 2 April, 2007 at 1:58 pm. 231. Chuck Norris once went to Burger King, where he ordered a Big Mac, and got one. 397. 384. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. Chuck Norris once drank an entire gallon of liquid LSD. 235. 344. Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerkey. Chuck Norris doesn’t play god. The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they’ll be the same thing. Several hours later, a car pulled up and out got Chuck Norris. Scientists once tried to create a vibrator that could simulate the power of Chuck Norris’s penis….the result was a baseball bat tied to a jackhammer. 69. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. His opponent drowned. 118. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris claims he’s colorblind. 137. I’m full”. assign two agents to 32. Chuck Norris invented the spoon, because killing people with a knife was just to easy. At birth. 8. The best part of waking up isn’t Folger’s in your cup. 394. | 56. 260. Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol. 93. Chuck Norris is the Godfather. Chuck Norris is the reason why babies grow INSIDE the mother’s womb. savior!” and headbutted the bus over the edge, You know, like, "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. 57. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked cookie monster so hard he became vegetable monster. 309. Lions aren’t the king of the jungle, Chuck Norris is. Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. Chuck Norris killed the producers of the movie “BrokeBack Mountain” for stealing the name of the pile of dead ninjas in his backyard. 192. Chuck was named after Carlos Berry, his father’s minister. Both Chuck Norris and Doctor Who have two hearts each, and their mothers had four, thats what makes Chuck Norris special. 239. 88. Bruce Lee could crush an apple with his bare hands but Chuck Norris can crush Bruce Lee’s head with a roundhouse kick to the face! While the elves now make sugar cookies in the tree, Chuck’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack… the heart lost…, 173. Chuck Norris doesn’t get ‘crabs.’ He gets LOBSTERS. Chuck Norris once pet a domesticated dog, the result is a pitbull. 81. 2:28 pm When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd…. Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. In the word of Julius Caeser, Veni, Vida, Veci, Chuck Norris’ translation: I came, I saw, I was roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris. It was inspired by the film Lone Wolf McQuade, with both this series and that film starring Chuck Norris as a member of the Texas Ranger Division. Entering your name as Chuck Norris will give you automatic high scores in any video game…. Chuck Norris’ heart doesnt beat he beats it. And I don’t even drink! 112. Chuck Norris farts gale force winds. Chuck Norris eats stingray barbs for breakfast. “P is for Chuck Norris…as well as every letter in the alphabet.”. 9. Jesus wears a “Chuck Norris is my homeboy” t-shirt. Ever. | 51. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in rubber condoms. Chuck Norris ate Adam and Eve. children teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto Chuck Norris does not show up in anyones dream. Chuck Norris eats off tectonic plates…and licks them clean. Chuck Norris can talk about fight club. 12. The man ate a fucking Indian. 60. Chuck Norris does not eat. Cars were invented as a way to run from Chuck Norris, and then Chuck Norris invented the car accident. Chuck Norris Rage FC B2007 4 - 3 Bears SA 2008 Complete Field 3 Regular Sun-Feb 16 Chuck Norris Rage FC B2007 5 - 3 Fury FC Boys 2007 Black Complete Field 3 Regular Sun-Mar 1 RBFC B2007 Black 0 - 10 Chuck Norris Rage FC B2007 Complete 312. When playing “rock, paper, scissors”, Chuck Norris always uses roundhouse kick. Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. The longest staring contest recorded in history was between Chuck Norris and his reflection… he still won. When Chuck Norris is having sex he’s always on top because Chuck Norris never fucks up. 146. 182. 163. 187. 318. Everybody loves Raymond…. Playing is for children. When Chuck Norris plays Tetris, the game runs out of pieces to give him. 404. 75. 171. Troverai tutto ciò che è inerente a Chuck Norris streaming italiano in altadefinizione 241. 11. 22. Chuck Norris circumcised himself. Chuck Norris facts are satirical factoids about American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. Chuck Norris has… 5 hour erections… 6 times a day! 319. 64. The only time Chuck Norris ever laughs is when a Vietnamese family is begging for their lives. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. 172. 293. Chuck Norris showed up and fatally roundhouse kicked his entire family to death…but atleast he got to see Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris answered 50 Cent’s 21 Questions with one answer, a swift roundhouse kick to the face. 52. Chuck Norris knows everything except for the definition of mercy. just in case he roundhouse kicks a black guy he cant be considered racist. If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you. Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a horse in the chin. There is no such thing as global warming. There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Some dumbass gave Chuck Norris a sweater for Christmas. 61. 251. With Zachary Levi, Yvonne Strahovski, Joshua Gomez, Vik Sahay. 148. Chuck Norris doesn’t ask permission, he grants it. except Chuck Norris. Then you’re fucked.”. 198. 156. Hpsander456 22:18, 17 July 2007 (UTC) Truth about Chuck Norris book. The 'facts' are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris's toughness, attitude, sophistication, and masculinity. 411.There are 342 parts of Chuck Norris body that he can kill you with. 191. 438. Chuck decided that it was butter, but Fabio wouldn’t listen. Shooting stars are just victims Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked into the sun…. The gayest thing Chuck Norris has ever done is a twenty-five person orgy including twenty-four women and himself. 217. 121. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement. 20. In 2007, Chuck was made an honorary U.S. Marine in recognition of his many years of support for America’s troops, especially for his work on behalf of wounded soldiers. Chuck Norris Facts are an Internet phenomenon of satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris. Reply. 53. 419. 431. 111. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex. 250. 204. 326. His routine wasn’t aired because it opened with an eloquent roundhouse kick to the face of his partner. Chuck Norris fought City Hall and won. Chuck Norris participated in Dancing with the Stars. Cancer. A young boy once screamed Chucks name because he doubted that Chuck would really answer his call. 224. 230. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. Norris is one half Irish and one half Cherokee Indian, whose paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were full blooded Cherokees. 335. Chuck Norris stopped the Grinch from stealing Christmas…with one roundhouse kick to the face…. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes just so he can beat the shit out of little kids. One of Chuck Norris’ used condoms was the inspiration for the Slip n’ Slide. Chuck Norris’ kidney stones are gold nuggets…..and he ejects these voluntarily with a Norris “no problem” grin. Once Chuck Norris was stopped on the street by a homeless war vet asking for a hand. 130. If you can’t see him you may be seconds away from death. 261. Chuck Norris developed the c section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world. 188. He merely transforms into a better version of himself. 290. Chuck Norris once ate at Taco Bell and didn’t get diarrhea… Chuck Norris once split a man in by giving him a wedgie; Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years. 54. Chuck Norris can kill two people simultaneously with his nipple. Rosa Parks was saving her seat for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). Without a word, he urinated in the gas tank, and left. Chuck Norris impregnates women simply by staring at their breasts. Copy . Chuck Norris can split an atom with his bare hands. 336. And God said let there be light. 307. Chuck Norris never charges for his acts of violence. Chuck Norris’ beard has three Superbowl rings. Should this be added to the page? Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Chuck Norris runs with scissors and other people get hurt. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. Chuck Norris put those mothafuckin snakes on that mothafuckin plane! Chuck Norris can hold a bank up over the phone. • Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur. 371. This is known as the circle of life. 363. 59. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.”. The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human (2007) Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T: 400 Facts About the Baddest Dudes in the History of Ever (2008) Chuck Norris Cannot Be Stopped: 400 All-New Facts About the Man Who Knows It referred first to the length of Chuck’s penis – limp – and then to his full length. He then brought him back to life and roundhoused kicked him again for dying. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. Created by Chris Fedak, Josh Schwartz. 134. Chuck Norris always finds bitches to fuck because he’s Chuck Norris. 432. If you’re having sex and the girl says “OH CHUCK!” you know you are doing a good job. Chuck Norris is currently suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. 306. He also starred in Missing in Action (1984) and its sequels, Firewalker (1986) and Sidekicks (1992). 84. 83. Not even light can escape a black hole…but Chuck Norris can. If you’re a girl, blink twice. Angels bowling does not make thunder, chuck norris round house kicking angels makes thunder. 2 users rated this 5 out of 5 stars 2. The Immancipation Proclamation was just a fancy phrase that meant everyone but Chuck Norris can have slaves.